Now all of these people are like, “Whateverrrrrrr, I’m not interested in putting a heterosexual straitjacket onto my identity. In the olden days, we just burned queers at the stake (or was that witches? Were some witches queer? Probably). Honestly, this also goes for everyone who’s queer. “But Natalia, why should we let cavemen set the standards for us? Why the fuck… why are we caring about caveman principles all of a sudden? What is this insane bullshit?” Uh. That’s just wrong and is clearly not what our caveman ancestors intended. Women also no longer churn their own butter, they have robots cleaning their floors, and can legally own property. Women aren’t busy dying in childbirth anymore, for one thing, which is wrong. It’s even more screwed up when you consider the fact that society has utterly spoiled women. In fact, too many nerds are filthy rich these days, so you KNOW they’re getting laid more than ever - since women are gold-digging bitches and all. Even fake Navy SEAL types get tired of fighting off trash pandas on their way to important masculinity conventions, eventually.īut besides the basic safeguards of sanitation and animal control - what is society even for, you guys? It’s a screwed up place where even nerds can get laid. Maybe alpha males will give society a pass on that. Well, except for all of that stuff that prevents you from getting dysentery/getting bitten by rabid trash pandas every time you leave the house. It’s all so SAFE and SANITIZED and BORING. The thing about dudes who go around referring to themselves as alphas is that society just doesn’t understand them, man. Sure, the majority of them don’t know what hunting and gathering even involves - besides the fact that dumb women don’t have enough upper body strength to do it efficiently - but hunter-gatherers wore loincloths and snarled at each other and that’s sexy in a totally non-homoerotic way and hey don’t call these dudes QUEER or anything that’s just super mean and wrong and anyway, where was I? We’ve evolved fancy technologies that make hunting and gathering and creating artistic masterpieces out of peeing on snow redundant in developed societies. Second of all, alpha males can’t help it if the world doesn’t understand them anymore. “But Natalia, aren’t guys who call themselves alphas just whiny bitches who are profoundly threatened by other people - women in particular - who have a healthier view of themselves and don’t obsess about where they fit on a particular hierarchy? Would a genuinely confident man even need to call himself an alpha?” It’s a terrifying time to be a confident, powerful dude who knows how to kill you in 700 hundred ways (and that’s just with his bare hands!). I liked Bryan because he was a legit underdog, how is he Beta if he was buried, rose from the ashes like a bearded Phoenix and forced the WWE to recognize him? That's some Gladiator movie type stuff there!Ī Wrestler who became a jobber, a jobber who became a Main Eventer, a Main Eventer who defied a Wrestling Empire.Please spare a thought for poor guys who unironically refer to themselves as “alphas.” It’s getting hard out here for them as they are constantly assaulted by an alliance of rabid feminists and white knight lib-cucks. Why I'd imagine they'd buy magic beans if someone was selling some to people. It's obvious as to what's going on but I suppose these people are the types to cheer for heroes because they're told to, boo because they're told to and buy anything and everything advertised. I often wonder how people can clamor for people with no mic skills, not entertaining in the ring and pushed to corner a certain market. Not knocking on the titles but the winners are picked beforehand and as we seen it rarely has anything to do with how over someone is or what talent they have. One might question why so many live vicariously through roided up goobers and celebrate title wins as if it's an actual accomplishment or feat of strength?
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